


The Greater Fools

by Fiercest



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bickering, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts First Year, Hogwarts Fourth Year, Hogwarts Second Year, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hogwarts Third Year
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-14 16:24:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2198673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiercest/pseuds/Fiercest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily, James and the marauders navigate adolescence as well as one might expect them to. Badly. Summer before 4th year: Regulus receives his Hogwarts letter and the Potters receive an unexpected guest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story about love of all kinds. It follows Lily, James and Snape through first year to graduation and beyond, through heartache, laughter, adventure and war. From troublesome Puberty to career decisions. Through their first kisses to their last. From the first defiance of Voldemort to the third.
> 
> Feedback would be really appreciated, especially constructive critique!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.

The Hogwarts Express  
 _First Year_

X

There is no one left in the entire world that knows the whole story of Lily and James Potter. Sirius fell through the Veil, Remus died beside his wife and Peter is better left unmentioned. And no one ever really knew the end. How James was immediately disarmed, but that didn't stop him from trying to punch Lord Voldemort right in the face. Or that Lily knew what she was doing and invoked the old magiks that kept her son safe.

No one tells Harry Potter how much his parents loved each other. No one thought to reassure him of that. He never got the chance to be grossed out by their kisses at the dinner table the way the Weasley children were, or found out if they held hands under the table when they thought no one could see, like Lupin and Tonks.

After viewing Snape's memories Harry begins to wonder how his mother ever could have loved the man he saw in his memories.

~

_'But she hated him!'_

_'Nah, she didn't.'_

_~_

James fell in love with Lily Evans on September 1st, his first year at Hogwarts. But he was 11, so he didn't quite know that yet.

The train tooted and students around him chattered. James was attempting to find a compartment that wasn't full when the train had suddenly lurched into motion and he- who hadn't yet grown into his tall, gangly body and developed hand-eye coordination- went flying forwards, taking who he would learn were Lily Evans and Severus Snape down with him.

He collided with an unknown entity and found himself face down on something firm but soft. For a moment he forgot himself and simply remained there, frozen in place.

"Ahem," someone coughed, sounding like they were trying very hard not to laugh.

He scrambled up, and found himself looking through cracked lenses at a cherry red, very horrified looking black haired boy and a sniggering red headed girl.

He spluttered unintelligible excuses and tried to turn on his heel and leave with something resembling a sense of dignity. Unfortunately the cracked lenses of his spectacles left him almost blind and off-kilter. He tripped once again on his robes and fell sideways through an open door and into an empty compartment.

 _Worst. Day. Ever._ He thought to himself and wished wholeheartedly that the floor would swallow him whole and he could escape the boy's embarrassed glares and the girl's stifled giggles.

"Here," she said kindly, smothering any residual laughter. She came closer and pulled out her wand. "I'm Lily. Let me help you with those." Lily kneeled beside him, muttered ' _Reparo'_ and smiled. "All better now?"

James stared at her in awestruck amazement. He felt his palms burning red-hot and his mouth go dry. He swallowed. "Thanks."

"You're very welcome. Come on, would you like to sit with us? I think everywhere else was full."

James spent the rest of the trip having heart palpitations and alternating back and forth between gazing adoringly at Lily and having a staring match with Snape. The latter kept turning red in embarrassment and folding in on himself until James looked away again.

Soon the topic of Sorting came up, "You want to be in Gryffindor," he claimed, "Best house, my mum and dad were both in it. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are ok too I guess," Although he ceded this reluctantly.

"Mum says there's four," interrupted Severus.

"Ya," James conceded again, "but no one decent _wants_ to be in Slytherin, every dark wizard that's ever lived was one of their lot."

"But-!" But Snape was then interrupted by Lily, who launched into an interrogation unlike anything James had ever experienced before at the hands of anyone other than an adult who knew he'd done something wrong.

The moment soon came when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station at Hogsmeade and Lily stopped her unrelenting barrage of questions about Sorting and Magic and Quidditch. Especially Quidditch. She loved asking him about it and he loved talking about it.

It annoyed him a little that she always tried to include the introverted Severus in the conversation, but it didn't matter much. The other boy didn't volunteer a lot of information.

"We're really here," she said wonderingly. He tried to look at it from her perspective; being a muggle-born, this must seem so- for lack of a better adjective –magical.

Severus smiled for the first time the whole trip. "Look out the window Lily."

They all did.

From their vantage point, the spires in the distance towered _upupup_ and the majestic beauty of its sheer largeness filled something inside them that only destiny can touch. The effervescent golden lights twinkled like stars gathered from the sky and tossed onto the canvas of a medieval painting. Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry was the most breathtaking thing they'd ever seen.

It would be the home they'd always think of when the word comes to mind.

"Come on!" she exclaimed excitedly, grabbing each of the boys by the hand and dashing for the steps off the train.

"Firs' years!" A booming voice called above the crowd of students milling about. "Firs' years over here!" An enormous man in a thick moleskin coat beckoned to the smallest of the children, offering the most welcoming of smiles through his wiry black beard.

"A'right you lot, follow me now! Wer takin' a diff'ren' way."

The trio, led by Lily, who still had her hands –which were damp from sweat –clutching theirs, followed the giant through the crowd and down a long, winding road.

Eventually they arrived at a lake. There, moored to a rickety dock, were a dozen or so boats.

This time it was James who excitedly pulled the others along with him. They were the first to claim a boat.

Animatedly, James lectured the two of them on the history of the first year traditions and how the older students were getting to the castle. Severus pretended he wasn't listening, but James knew that he was.

 

* * *

 

James held his breath as Deputy-Headmaster Worcester placed the Sorting Hat upon his head. He had always been told that the hat thinks out loud, that he'd deliberate, that he could discuss it with the animate object. It was silent for 20 seconds and then—

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Loud applause from the crimson draped table at the far end. Excitedly, he dashed towards the cheers and took a seat right across from Lily, who grinned at him hugely.

Two other Gryffindors were sorted. A few Hufflepuffs, some Ravenclaws, and four Slytherins.

Finally, Severus' name was called. He walked up to the stool with hesitant steps, as if to the beat of a death march. The hat decided quicker for him than anyone else. It has barely touched one greasy lock of hair when it shouted what sounded like a death knell to James. "SLYTHERIN!"

 

* * *

 

After the feast James let Lily talk his ear off as they followed the prefects and made their way up winding staircases to Gryffindor tower.

"Pollywaddle." The ginger-haired girl leading them said as they stopped at a large portrait.

Lily jumped and grabbed his sleeve when suddenly the pink swathed lady in the picture moved. She gestured theatrically with her right arm and the frame swung outward, revealing a wide arch. The redhead and the boy prefect led them through it.

"This is the common room. Upstairs to the right is the girls' dormitories, to the left is the boys'. Weasley will take the girls up to their room; I'll take the boys. C'mon."

Lily and James glanced at each other then went their separate ways.

James smiled at Peter Pettigrew, who he knew vaguely and ever the friendly one, introduced himself loudly and jubilantly to his other dorm mates.

Remus Lupin, Sirius Black and Harley Gibbon.

And so, it began.

 

* * *

 

It had been an awful morning.

She had tried to sit next to Sev at breakfast, much to the consternation and apparent disgust of the other Slytherins. He hadn't been able to meet her eyes. He just slumped down in his seat and stared at his plate. Her heart-struck disappointment was put to the soundtrack of Avery and Malfoy's sniggers.

"Fine," she'd said, as if she cared more for the essence of toad on the bottom of her shoe and stomped away.

She cornered and confronted him on the staircase later. The confrontation was their first fight since the time when he'd hurt Petunia and Lily had attempted to turn on her heel and stomp off with all the pompous, self-righteous nerve she could muster. Instead she'd managed to get stuck in the sinking step and fall over, fracturing her tibia.

Sev didn't even turn around.

Alice, a second year, and her boyfriend, a third year named Frank helped the sobbing 11-year-old to the hospital wing.

She smiled sheepishly through her tears at the middle-aged doctor who greeted the group with a stern look. Explaining her clumsiness was mortifying, especially in front of the two older students, but Monsieur Pomfrey didn't scold her or roll his eyes or anything. He just rolled up his sleeves and withdrew his wand.

In order to understand the magnitude of what happened next, one must first understand Lily Evans.

She had known she was different since before she discovered her magic.

She had never been particularly unpopular. She had her friends. But she'd always felt apart from them. She always felt like she was staring at them from afar, through the lens of a fogged up telescope.

The moment Severus told her what she was, every day little pieces of her began to accumulate in wounds she'd never known were there, wounds that had been there so long that she felt their absence more than their existence. Her abrasions slowly scabbed over with the bits she found.

On her second day of Hogwarts, that final lesion was sealed shut.

When Monsieur Pomfrey had mended her broken leg with a flick of his wand and alleviated the pain with a drought he'd brewed right in front of her, something suddenly clicked. Something magical had fallen into place inside her and she'd just _known._

Of course, like so many others in the years to follow, James had ruined that moment of utter clarity for her.

The tingling feeling of the drought working had just reached the very tips of her toes when the doors to the hospital wing had opened with a bang and in sauntered James with a bloody lip and a grin. As well as Severus, bloody-nosed and inversely angry. Both were on the arm of a bright purple-faced Professor McGonagall, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"What in Merlin's name did you boys do?" Monsieur Pomfrey demanded with the longsuffering air of a man used to dealing with ruffians and the proud countenance of an authority figure.

"Merely defended a lovely lady's honor," James with no remorse even as Snape gawped at him in abject disbelief. Potter winked at her and grinned wider than before.

"Well if it's to defend a lady's honor…" the healer trailed off. "I suppose exceptions can be made then."

"Really?" James asked in surprise.

"No. Ten points from Gryffindor."

Lily would remember the expression of utter horror that smacked across his face until the day she died.

All this was beside the point; Lily, who had never quite been a part of her parents' and sister's world had found her place somewhere. She'd just witnessed the mending of bones in a snap. It was the first bit of true fantasy she had experienced. Magic was a world of possibility and knowledge yet to find scope in her mind. Lily had found Hogwarts. Lily found a place where she belonged long before she ever knew that that was what she was looking for.

Lily decided, right then and there, that she would become a healer.

That was the point.

 

* * *

 

"Oh _bugger_ ," groaned James as he tripped over the doorjamb and was sent careening into the middle aisle of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He tensed for impact but his fall was never broken. Instead he glanced up to find Minerva McGonagall's face creased in bemusement, wand drawn, levitating him.

" _Cool_ ," a boy in the back row with shoulder length black hair exclaimed.

"Indeed Mr. Black, very cool," the professor quirked an eyebrow and set James on his feet. "You're late Mr. Potter. Stay after class."

"But Au-!"

"I think you've caused enough trouble for one morning, don't you think?"

They didn't learn much in the hour-long class; it was more like a summary of what would be to come during the following year.

After class he approached McGonagall's desk hesitantly.

"What the hell Aunt Minnie?" he whined.

She cleared her throat and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Don't swear, Jamie"

Minerva was his godmother and had gone to school with his parents and had been a constant fixture in his life since birth. He didn't like her calling him 'Jamie' since he'd received his acceptance letter but he liked 'Mr. Potter' even less.

"I can't favor you here. We talked about this. Inside of Hogwarts I am your teacher," she smiled, "Not the loving aunt who got to spoil you from the get-go."

"Fine." He grumbled.

"Detention tonight sounds fair."

"No it doesn't!"

 

* * *

 

Detention wasn't so bad.

The boy named Black from the back of the class helped him climb out the fourth story window and onto a broom.

McGonagall caught them, obviously, and made them do lines.

 

* * *

 

It took Severus a week to muster up the courage to apologize to Lily.

This was mostly because during that time she was always with other Gryffindors. The only solace he found was in her distinct avoidance of Potter.

He wasn't entirely sure what it was about James Potter that bothered him so, but he was ever so sure that it was _his fault_.

He did deserve the beating the other boy had given him though.

Severus said none of this to Lily of course, but he groveled and wheedled with fervency the likes of which he hadn't done since he lost control of his magic on Petunia.

Of course she forgave him quickly, she always did.

"I'll never act that way again," he promised.

"Why did you in the first place?"

Because he just wanted to fit in; he wanted to belong, he wanted friends, he wanted for Hogwarts to mean finally being a part of something.

Because Slytherins weren't _supposed_ to be friends with Gryffindors, let alone mudbloods. (Which he'd never say to her face of course).

Because he couldn't bear the thought of proving his father right about him.

Because he wanted to succeed, and to do that you need contacts. The only contacts he could ever make wouldn't even breathe in his direction as long as Lily was between them.

"Because I was being stupid."

His decision was made.

 

* * *

 

"A perfect brew as always, Ms. Evans!" Professor Slughorn clapped his hands giddily as he praised his favorite student. She smiled shyly and cast a sideways glance at Severus, who was sitting one desk over and whose potion's qualities were just as specific as her own.

"Thank you professor," she replied so as not to be rude. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her friend's head whip back around and his nose bury itself into the textbook once again.

"I hope you are planning on going into a profession involving potions, my dear!"

I _wish you would stop singling me out and embarrassing me in front of everyone._

"You have quite the talent for it!"

_Please shut up._

From across the room James and Sirius, whose potion was a bubbling, goopy mess gave her enthusiastic thumbs up and stuck their tongues out at Sev. She sighed, rolled her eyes and buried her face into her folded arms to hide her burning cheeks.

 

* * *

 

On the morning of the first Quidditch match of the year, the Gryffindor common room was alight with chatter and excitement. Frank regaled Alice and Lily with tales of his first game. He was the Gryffindor Keeper. Being a third year, this was only his first year on the team, but his enthusiasm and careful boasts were neither obnoxious nor annoying. She loved the fervor with which the usually soft-spoken Frank spoke about his favorite sport.

Frank went down to the pitch early and she and Alice went down together a little later. She spotted Sev on the way down and gestured wildly for him to come over. He hesitated a moment before approaching the two girls. He didn't miss Alice straining on her smile, but Lily did. He sighed and pretended he hadn't seen. "Come sit with us," her invitation was kind, she had no way of knowing that everyone sat with his or her house. That a Slytherin would be unwelcome did not occur to her.

Severus sat through the entire game with dozens of eyes searing him with their stares and Lily apologizing and promising that next time they could sit with the Slytherins. "They would be even worse." He told her and turned his attention back to the flying boys and girls gilded in red and blue uniforms. He suffered through the gawkers and didn't complain.

 

* * *

 

Christmas came and went. Lily had gone home. Severus had not. James dragged Sirius home with him.

On Christmas morning James woke up to a pile of presents, some from friends, some from his parents. Sirius received just as much, including an adorable drawing made by his baby cousin Dori.

At the very bottom of his pile James found a red box, in it were a pair of socks and gloves, as well as a scarf and a hat. The note read: 'They're charmed to heat up your fingers but not melt snowballs. And the hat won't mess up your hair. Happy Christmas! Best, Lily.'

"I was supposed to get her a present?!"

 

* * *

 

It was April and the snow has already begun to melt when he handed her a scarf. It was messy, and warped, bright green and one side had fringes while the other didn't.

"Thank you?" she said uncertainly.

"I asked my neighbor to teach me," he explained, "She's a squib."

She smiled brightly and effused more genuinely this time: " _Thank you._ "


	2. Cooties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily, James and the Marauders navigate adolescence as well as one might expect them to. Second Year: “We are violent people and it’s not okay. There are counselors for these types of relationships.”

_Second Year_

_x_

 

“Oh shit!”

“ _Lily._ Language.”

“Sorry mum,” the young witch demurred before choosing a more appropriate expletive. “Frick, we’re going to be late.”

Harriet Evans bit her lip and pulled her blond hair into a high ponytail, “She’s going as fast as she can.”

“You should have seen her a couple weeks ago when she was getting ready for that rally,” George Evans. “I’m almost sure she missed it.”

It was then that Petunia _clunk_ ed down the stairs in white platform shoes. She wobbled on her way down. At age sixteen, Petunia Evans was almost a full foot taller than her little sister, even without her ridiculous shoes. Her blond hair hung to her waist in perfect waves, framing her makeupless face. “I heard that Dad, and what I’m doing is important. The world is _changing_.” She looked down her nose at Lily, “And she doesn’t even know it because you won’t talk about it and _she_ ’s not even a part of it.”

Petunia had taken to sermonizing the Hippie movement whenever she and Lily found themselves in the same room. Her older sister had dedicated many hours to educating her in an area her admittedly sometimes conservative parents wouldn’t.

“Sure whatever, peace and love, but I’m going to be late for the train. Can we go?”

Lily was twelve when her sister took part in a peace movement, she couldn’t have understood what it was Petunia was protesting against. She hadn’t seen the pictures yet. She hadn’t listened to the news.

In only a few years Lily would participate in fighting for the end of a completely different war, but for now her biggest concern was getting to King’s Cross on time.

 

* * *

 

Timing is very important. Especially when one is twelve years old. A twelve year old fluctuates, changes, grows and regresses. A twelve year old is an irrational creature subject to the turbulence of puberty, peer pressure and complicated new emotions.

Lily, a girl who months ago had not thought twice about what she looked like on any given morning, come one day begins to fret over her hair, the length of her skirt, the amount of freckles she has, how tall she is, how clumsy she is, how silly her laugh is and an innumerable amount of other things. Lily has discovered a strange new flutter when she thinks of James Potter and his silly scarf or Sev and his bashful, crooked smile.

This was not necessarily a problem since Sev was where he’d always been and she didn’t quite know what to do with these new feelings anyway.

On the other hand, just as all the other boys were growing out of such things, the unfortunate James had a very brief affair with the idea that girls are icky.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Lil,” James shrugged uncomfortably and shoved his hands into his pockets when she approached him in front of Sirius, Remus and Pete. He saw her ears pinken, she must have noticed how awkward he was being and it was embarrassing her. Something in him felt exasperated and a prick of panic at her presence set him on edge. He’d been avoiding her for the whole first week of classes, and didn’t see any reason to stop now. “I’ve um, got to practice for quidditch tryouts, I’ll see you!” then he was off like a shot, leaving her with his friends, who she had never been very comfortable with.

“See you,” mumbled the downcast girl even though he was gone.

The boys stared at her silently a bit, before her furious blush spread from fringe to chin and she all but bolted for the portrait hole.

 

* * *

 

“He’s not so bad you know,” she told Severus when he caught her staring in Herbology and nudged her with his shoulder.

“He’s a prat,” he informed her unrepentantly, failing to figure out how she didn’t see it. He thought she had more sense than the rest of the Gryffindors. “He’s just gonna get you in trouble.”

Lily sighed, “Give him a chance? For me? He can really be very sweet.” She turned her back on him to look at Potter and there was something in her eyes that made him tear the Q’rzfa weed more furiously than warranted from it’s soil.

 

* * *

 

More sighing. Lily was beginning to make a habit of it and it was driving James to distraction.

Usually one to sit in the very front row, Lily always sat behind him these days. Perhaps because he always made certain that any available seats next to him this year were full. Her presence provoked a disquiet in his mind that he really really hated and that made him very uncomfortable whenever she was around. Worse still; she became prone to staring at him in a considering way. This was the most unnerving change of all. Whenever he noticed he always felt the need to loosen his tie or run a hand through his hair to smooth it out, as though if he could pinpoint whatever was making her stare and fix it, it would all end and he could stop feeling like his face was going to burn off at all times.

Another sigh.

“Could you stop that?!”

Oh god.

Oh no.

_He didn’t._

Apparently he had because he found himself standing, half turned to face the stunned redhead in an utterly silent classroom. His face blazed worse than ever. “Thank you.” He squeaked with a finality meant to save face. He sat back down and tried to pay attention to the rest of Aunt Minnie’s lecture.

As soon as they were dismissed Lily ran out the door, bumping into Remus, who bumped into him on the way out. He was thankful when the other boy kept his mouth shut and followed him to lunch.

In the middle of the conversation something behind Peter's head grabbed Remus' attention. They all turned to see what he was staring at. “What do you think’s the matter with her?” asked Peter jerking a thumb over at Annie Schwartz, who was a fifth year Hufflepuff. She was combing through the newspaper like she was searching for spiders, almost ripping the pages in her haste to get through the whole thing.

“Her older brother is an Auror-in-training,” Andrew Belmont, another fifth year and sitting one seat over, replied in a whisper. “Hasn’t heard from him in the past couple of weeks.”

“Maybe he’s just been busy?”

By the look of Annie, they seriously doubted that _she_ thought so.

Further down the table Frank was staring at Lily with a quizzical look on his face. She’s sat down across from him and sunk as low as possible into her seat, guarding her expression behind a curtain of hair. The only visible parts of her were her bright red ears. He groaned; sometimes he forgot she was a 12-year-old girl. Not really sure how to deal with non-girlfriend related emotional problems he threw a biscuit at her and hoped that the ensuing battle would take her mind off whichever boy (it oscillated between Severus and James) had hurt her feelings this week.

 

* * *

 

It was before Christmas when Sirius began to notice that Remus had some sort of incident every month like clockwork. In September there was some problem with ministry paperwork (what with him being a half-blood) and he had to go home to sort it out. In October he got a bout of the flu and had to stay in the hospital wing overnight. In November and then December his mum was sick. She’d been sick an awful lot last year too.

Once a month he’d wager.

Sirius shared this strange observation with James and Peter the night before Christmas hols were to begin. Remus was the only one of the group going home. It would be perfect. They could do all the research they wanted without him knowing.

“It’s his business,” Peter protested, not looking forward to reading during his supposed holiday.

“And that makes it our business. As his friends,” concluded Sirius.

They spent the next three days combing through every section of the library. They went to professor Vector and Monsieur Pomfrey separately asking about monthly ails. Neither was of any help.

All the while Lily Evans, the only other Gryffindor in their year that stayed at the castle, tried to make them include her but to no avail, especially with Snape coming as a package deal. Whatever was up with Remus they didn’t want _him_ in the loop, even if it meant forsaking Lily’s admittedly very useful help.

 

* * *

 

It was decided that their only remaining option was the restricted section. And like many students before (and after) them they decided that the only way second years like them were going to be able to get their hands on a single book was to sneak in.

On Christmas Eve they snuck out of their beds, down the stairs to the common room. And careful not to wake the Fat Lady, they slipped out into the eerie darkness of the castle after curfew. Sirius led the way, carrying a lamp. It was after what seemed like hours of painstakingly looking around corners and muffling their footsteps-so much that they were almost dragging across the floor –they made it through the doors of the library.

Quietly as they could, they crept up to the locked grate separating the restricted section from the rest. “How are we-?” Peter began but was shushed by Sirius, who pulled out a brass key. As he ran his finger over it the teeth retracted, leaving it smooth. He stuck it in the keyhole which unlocked with a quiet _snikt_.

“Where did you get that?” James exclaimed, only just remembering to keep his voice down.

“My cousin Andromeda married some bloke named Ted who might just be the coolest adult ever. He gave it to me and told me to make some mischief, and so I’m making mischief. He’s right good for Andy I should think.” Then he pushed open the grate. It made a horrible screeching noise that reverberated in the former silence of the library.

They all stood very very still. They had heard a squeak. They dared not even breathe.

Who knew how long they stood there, waiting for the quiet footsteps to grow closer. Whoever it was was between them and the exit. Closer, closer still-

Lily Evans tripped into view, rubbing her eyes, still in jeans and a jumper and clutching a book in her right hand. “Hallo,” she said.

“Did you follow us here?!” demanded James, disbelieving.

She burned bright red to her ears, the way she did when she got angry. “Of course not! I fell asleep reading. What are you lot doing here at-“ she glanced at her watch and her eyed bugged out. “2AM?! OH FUDGE OH F-“ Peter reacted quickest, pressing a hand over her mouth to stifle the noise, but it was too late.

In the distance they heard Mrs. Norris’ cane clatter against the floor and Filch’s whining at her to slow down.

They ran.

Through the door and down the stairs, a hard left through a hallway to get to the great hall. Up the main staircase, another left towards Gryffindor tower. Four pairs of heavy footfalls barreled up up up three flights until Lily felt the horrible marble jaws of the trick step. The boys continued, not noticing their fallen comrade. They arrived at a row of abandoned classrooms, picked one and locked the door behind them.

“Where’s Lily?” James whisper-yelled urgently.

Back on the stairs Lily sighed angrily and grunted while yanking on her leg to free it. “Come on comeon comeonecomeonecomeon!!”

“Ms. Evans.”

_Why do these things always seem to happen to me?_

Mrs. Norris was a tall, gangly old woman whose age could have ranged from 100 to 150. She walked with a limp, aided and abetted by her trusty cane and her trustier assistant caretaker; a young, but equally crotchety looking man named Filch.

“Out of bed are we?”

“Mrs. Norris! I! I um- well you see I-!”

“We’ll see what your head of house has to say about this,” and with a strength that disputed Mrs. Norris’ supposed dependence on her cane she gripped Lily under the arms and pulled her right off her feet and out of the trick step. She set her down and moved her grip to her already blushing, burning ear. “Come along young lady. Argus! Stop lollygagging and follow.”

“Oh fiddlesticks.”

 

* * *

 

The second day back after Christmas Holidays Remus confronted his fellow Gryffindor as they were about to leave Defense class. The other boys were in no way ready to divulge what it is they were looking for in the restricted section, but he knew a looser tongue he could interrogate that was less likely to lie convincingly.

James had not so much let slip, as ranted and raved about how Lily Evans had stupidly gotten caught after hours and demanding (without requiring or really wanting) an answer as to why she hadn’t tattled on them. A guilty conscience, which James blamed his mother for, was plaguing him every time he even thought of her. It was apparently a frequent subject on his mind lately because he hadn’t shut up about it since he’d gotten back to the castle.

“Lily, wait up with me for a second?” Her eyes widened in surprise when she glanced over her shoulder to see who was calling her name.

“Go on without me,” she told Snape, who was narrowing his eyes at the other boy.

She rolled her eyes then smiled, “What’s up?”

“About Christmas…” Remus began.

“It was good, and yours?”

“No,” he hesitated for a moment then continued, “I mean, the whole thing in the library. Do you know what they were looking for?”

“Oh,” a dark look settled on her face, “I didn’t ask, but honestly I’d like to know that myself. Why wouldn’t they tell _you_?” She must have realized her tactlessness because she began waving her arms wildly around, making slashing motions, “No no! I mean, I’m sure it’s nothing. I don’t think they’re intentionally excluding you or anything. I was just curious. I mean, you were gone! So it’s probably nothing, oh crud. I am so so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way or-!”

Remus, unaccustomed to her tirades, wasn’t entirely sure how to stop it. “It-it’s really ok Lily, I didn’t take it that way. I swear.”

Luckily, he was saved when Alice abruptly poked her head into the classroom, “Hiya, did you forget you were supposed to meet me like 10 minutes ago? I found my old notes for History of Magic if you want. Oh hey Lupin. Did I interrupt something?”

He tried to assure her that she hadn’t but Lily was still mid-apology.

“Lily went loony didn’t she?”

“Yeah.”

“She does that. It’s the whole nice girl thing. She can’t handle insulting someone.”

 

* * *

 

Sirius laid a hand on Lily’s shoulder and the other over his heart. His voice contained so much emotion as he honored her, “You have served the cause well, Evans. Your steadfast lack of snitch-ery is greatly appreciated and your sacrifice will be remembered always.” He took a deep, labored breath, “On behalf of the Marauders I salute you.” He brought his fingers to his temple and with a stiff upper lip drew it away and stood at attention, waiting for the inevitable laughter.

“Oh…I …?” She blinked once, twice, three times. “I don’t know what to say Sirius, that was really nice of you to say. Also, what are the Marauders?”

“I’ve decided we needed a cool name. See James? She’s not so bad!” He clapped the other boy on the back.

James blushed and stammered something unintelligible under his breath.

“It’s not his fault that he’s slower to mature than everyone else.”

With a loud smack, James’ hand met the back of Sirius’ head.

 

* * *

 

“So, would you like to take part in a marauder’s scheme? For real this time, of course.”

Lily and Alice looked up from their History of Magic textbooks at Remus. “I’m not sure I _want_ to,” she said.

She glanced at Alice who giggled and buried her nose back in her book, “Don’t look at me, I want absolutely no part of this.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “Did Black send you?”

“James actually,” (A snort from Alice’s direction), “I think this is the metaphorical ‘olive branch’.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“What wrong with Lily’s face?” asked Frank a moment later as he sat down between them. “You know if you keep doing that it’ll get stuck.”

“That’s just her face,” Alice informed him with a sniff and a smirk, “She’s torn between her rule abiding nature and how absolutely dreamy James is.”

The subject of the couple’s gossiping looked up, having finally heard them, gathered her things and flounced away. But not before thumping Alice on the head with a rolled up scroll of parchment.

“We are violent people and it’s not okay. There are counselors for these types of relationships.”

 

* * *

* * *

Lily didn’t know why she was awake, but now that she was she couldn’t get back to sleep. With a sigh she got out of bed and stretched her arms high above her head. Then she heard that half remembered noise from her dream.

“Ooouuufff.”

And then she heard it; grunts of pain and then “Sshhhhhh.”

She opened the door and walked down the stairs in her nightdress. At the bottom of the stairs she found James and Peter lying in a heap at Remus and Sirius’ feet. “Serves you right,” Remus was saying.

“What-? Guys?”

“Lily!” James exclaimed from under Peter’s thigh.

“SHH.” She hissed automatically, making a face.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “Um, hi.”

“What are you guys doing? You know that boys can’t get up these stairs right? And it’s like-“ she glanced at her wristwatch, “2 am.”

“Exactly,” said Sirius, “prime time to spread a little havoc.”

“There is absolutely no way that I will ever agree to help you! I’m tired, I want to sleep, you’re going to get caught and somehow it’ll end worst for me because _that’s apparently how things work now_. I have learned my lesson.” She huffed, “The answer is _no_.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, all the portraits in the entire castle had been rearranged. Those who used them to navigate took the wrong corridors and staircases, the portraits themselves shouted in alarm and exasperation.

And five Gryffindor students slept their way through breakfast and their first class.

 

* * *

 

When his best friend almost tipped her chair over in her haste to be seated in second period potions, Severus Snape knew trouble was afoot. Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew had traipsed in right behind her, without a care in the world.

“Where have you been?” he demanded of the out of breath Lily.

“I slept through breakfast. Any chance you remember how to transfigure anything into something edible?” she rummaged through her bag, looking for nourishment.

“Just rocks into really tasteless brussel sprouts.”

“As opposed to the regular, delectable kind.”

“I think it’s their way of trying to make us eat healthier, because I’m pretty sure chocolate is easier.”

“Don’t let The Man keep you down Sev, flower power.”

He chortled, thinking of Petunia this summer, decked out in her flower printed dresses, fringed vests and peace signed necklaces; talking about art, The Beatles, liberation and the Americans’ war.

“I changed my mind,” he declared imperiously, “I’m okay with brussel sprouts if it means I don’t have to be a part of _that_.”

“I don’t know, it seems like we miss a lot of what goes on in the world when we’re here.”

“You mean what goes on in _their_ world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not really sure where Hippie Petunia came from, but I kind of really like this headcanon. I haven’t read much HP fics but it seems that she’s the least developed character in most of them, while I find her fascinating. 
> 
> PS: I really really want Lily and Lupin to have a bromance.


	3. Fateful Summers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Summer before third year; Lily visits Most Noble and Ancient House of Black and Severus meets his grandparents.

Severus stood on Lily’s doorstep waiting. The anxious boy could hear her thundering steps as she ran to answer the doorbell. He was unprepared for the taller, decidedly blond teenager who answered in her stead. “Oh,” Petunia said with a sneer, “It’s you.” She rolled her eyes and tried to peer around him. “LILY!” she shrieked shrilly, “YOUR WEIRDO FRIEND IS HERE!”

“You don’t have to scream, I’m right here,” Lily appeared at her sister’s shoulder with a sour expression. “Hey Sev.”

A honk issued from behind him and got Petunia’s attention. It originated from a white convertible with the top down and five teenagers already piled in. She tripped on the hem of her excessively long skirt in her hurry.

“I don’t know why she never wears clothes that she can actually walk in,” sighed Lily to Severus’ tepid agreement. His mind was on other things. “What’s up?”

“Want to go the park? I’ve got some stuff I’ve got to talk to you about.”

She glanced back into the house and bit her lip, looking apologetic, “Sorry, mom’s having me make up for like every fudging chore I didn’t do ‘cause I was at school. Today’s not such a good day. Can it wait?”

“No.”

“Ok,” she glanced back nervously. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” he paused and tried to inconspicuously wipe the sweat from his palms onto his too-short slacks. “I just- I’m kind of gonna be gone for a while.”

“Gone?” her brow furrowed into three wrinkled lines, “Gone where?”

“To my grandparents’ place for a while.”

“That’s so cool!” she exclaimed, “For how long?”

“All summer.”

“Oh…”

He tried not to take pleasure in the disappointed look on her face but it was difficult. It was _him_ she was going to miss. It was _him_ she was upset that she wasn’t going to see. It actually even made it a little more bearable to leave.

Lily put her arms around him and squeezed him tightly, “I’ll miss you. Write to me ok?”

“I will,” he promised, hiding his heated face in her hair.

 

* * *

 

Severus didn’t write her the first week, or the second, but on the morning of the tenth day of waiting, two unfamiliar owls sailed through the kitchen window, one after another and landed next to her glass of orange juice.

“Hi cuties,” she untied the letter from the first one’s leg and rubbed its head.

“Ewwwww,” Petunia whined, picking up her plate and holding it away from the beautiful tawny.

“I think they’re scrumptious,” Harriet Evans exclaimed, feeding one a biscuit.

The letter was from Alice.

_Dear Lily,_

_Kill me, and be quick about it. It’s finally happened. I finally met Frank’s mother. She is not the sunny personality I was led to believe she would be. Frank is such a mama’s boy. She’s polite and stuff, but she looks at you like she wants to dissect you, or like you’re some sort of project she can undertake._

_I don’t think she likes me very much._

_Although, it might have something to do with my inability to form complete sentences around her. Frank says ‘hi’ by the way, and wants you to agree with him that I’m overreacting. I AM NOT OVERREACTING, HIS MOTHER IS A LITTLE BIT CRAZY. And by that I mean a lot.  
_

_I saw Snape at some dinner party my parents dragged me to a few days ago, he was there with his grandparents I think. I tried to ask him if he’d heard from you but he avoided the question. Is everything ok with you two? Merlin knows I’m no fan of his but he’s your friend and I figured you should know he was being weird- well, weirder that usual._

_How’s your summer going? I want to hear every little thing. And can you explain this ‘hippie’ thing? What’s a hippie? Is it some sort of non-magical creature?_

_Many more of these irrelevant questions to follow._

_Best,_

_Alice_

Lily smiled; she promised herself she’d write to her soon. She tore open her second letter letter and read the salutation with confusion. “Sirius?”

“Serious about what?”

She waved her father off as she read, “It’s a name.”

_Hello Lily-kins,_

_As I’m sure your life is thoroughly dull and pointless without we Marauders around to entertain you with our antics and suave natures, I’ve decided to rescue you. We’re bored, come hang out with us. Meet us tomorrow at Peter’s okay? Okay._

_I’m sure you miss us dearly (me in particular), but try to contain your yearning until tomorrow._

_-Sirius_

“That’s _seriously_ his name?” Lily shot her father a bemused look. “Sorry, I’ll stop.”

Suddenly a thought occurred to her and she face palmed, “That idiot didn’t give me an address.”

At that exact moment a second owl, smaller than the first, zoomed in and landed on the orange juice carton.

_Remus says I’m an idiot and forgot to give you the address. Sorry, I forgot you don’t floo. Peter’s is 345 Celandine Avenue in Banstead. Be there for 10._

“Hey mum, can you drive me to Banstead tomorrow?”

 

* * *

 

Peter’s house was a nice, modest home with a literal white picket fence and a garden with plants she recognized, shockingly not all from her potions manual. A middle-aged woman with a kind face answered the door after she rang the cheerful chiming bell. “The boys are waiting for you in the sitting room,” she gestured for her to follow and bustled along down the hallway, leading her into a quaint room with all the furniture turned toward the fireplace. In the middle of the room, on a table sat a radio playing music with lyrics not conducive with muggle airwaves.

_‘Stir me up a little bit of loooove potion,_  
Ensure my devotion,   
Make my heart beat with emotion-‘

Peter hopped up from the settee and flicked it off, “Ready to go?”

“Go where?” She looked around, “Where’s Sirius?”

“Oh, we’re not staying here, we’re going to his place. He’s got a pitch in his backyard.”

“A pitch?” she exclaimed in alarm.

They were all holding broomsticks. James was holding two.

“Ever taken the Floo network?”

Remus and Peter demonstrated first, while James said he’d go last to coach her through it. “Deep breath, say ‘number 10 Grimmauld Place’ and let go. Speak clearly or you’ll end up somewhere weird.”

Inhale. Exhale. “N-Number 10 Grimmauld Place!” she let go and was engulfed by the fire.

Number 10 Grimmauld Place was depressing and dark, not at all where she expected a person like Sirius to live. He was of a lively sort that didn’t seem like he could thrive in the dank and dust of the expansive, Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. The Boy Wonder himself greeted them from the doorjamb he was leaning against. “Bonjour,” he crowed, sweeping into a deep, ridiculous bow. “Ça va?”

“Must you?” sighed Remus.

“I just came from my French lesson.”

“French lesson?” Lily repeated, gaping. “Why?”

“I know right? It’s summer. But mum’s a bit off her rocker and insists. Bright side is that birds dig a guy who can say things they don’t understand.”

“Yeah,” Lily rolled her eyes sardonically, “We sure do.”

Sirius threw an arm around her shoulder, “Here’s what you don’t understand about me old girl: I’m charming.” He pulled her through the house the rest of the boys followed behind, seemingly enjoying her feelings of awkwardness. He led them through twisted hallways painted dark oppressing colors and past a large staircase that she got a quick glimpse of before James stepped in the way. (Had those been…heads on the walls?) Finally they arrived at the brightest room in the house. It was small but tall, with floor to ceiling windows with glass so old it was warped; filtering in random patterns and swirls of light and throwing rainbows onto the black leaves of long-dead plants. It was beautiful in its abandonment.

She realized she was lingering and followed the boys out the door into the bright sunlight of the summer afternoon.

The backyard was a huge expanse of grass rising and sloping into the distance. There was nothing but the house for miles. “Your family lives out here all by themselves?”

“Nah, muggle neighborhood. This is mostly an charm expanding the space we’ve already got.” He suddenly seemed to remember something. “By the way, if anyone asks, you’re a Weasley. My mum doesn’t know a single one of their names and they’re all gingers so she won’t question it.”

“Why?”

“’Cause you don’t want to see my esteemed mother during one of her fits. She knows a lot of nasty hexes.”

Lily was seriously starting to question her sanity in accepting an invitation to Sirius Black’s house.

 

* * *

 

James knew that Lily had ridden a broom before, all first years were required to take a class, but he’d forgotten that she had been abysmal at it. Mostly because she was unwilling to leave the ground.

Adventurous, Lily Evans was not.

“Come on, just push off.” She tried, but not really. There was a frightened hesitance to her leaps and it confused the broom into just jutting forward in starts and stops instead of soaring upward.

“ _YOU_ PUSH OFF.”

Fed up, he swooped down on his Nimbus 500 and grabbed her by the arm, yanking her up and bringing her higher. “JAMES POTTER, I WILL KILL YOU,” she screamed, screwing her eyes shut. He halted and settled at 50 feet. Her broom stayed up supporting her, but she was gripping it so tightly her knuckles were white and she refused to open her eyes. “Don’t look down, don’t look down,” she was muttering breathlessly over and over.

“Lily, open your eyes.” She shook her head. “Open your eyes, I won’t let go.” Carefully she opened one eye then the other, then looked down. She screamed, jerking back. This caused her broom to follow her movements, flipping over, ending up with her spinning in a corkscrew in the opposite direction. She cried.

Lily was spinning so quickly she thought she was going to be sick, she knew she was going to be sick. Blood pounded in her ears and the air felt thin. Eventually, her natural equilibrium took over and she instinctively righted herself. The spooked new flyer stayed as still as she could, trying to avoid it happening again. Her hands were pulsing in time with her heartbeat and tear tracks made her cheeks feel sticky and itchy.

“Ok, now lean forward,” Lily glared at the boy, daring him to give her more orders but did as she was told.

Like a bullet released from the chamber of a gun she shot off into the distance. _I’m doing it!_ She thought to herself as she zigzagged, dove and followed the slopes of the hills up and down, eventually finding her way back to the group. “It’s like skiing,” she proclaimed. The only vacations her family ever went on were to various ski hills every winter of her childhood. “You just lean a little.”

“A little, yeah,” agreed Peter, the only one of them who’d ever done it. “Can we play Quidditch now?”

 

* * *

 

“And it was SO COOL. I flew like 100 feet high! I got to play Seeker. That’s the player who chases the little gold ball. But THEN cause we were so few people I played Keeper. _That_ I wasn’t good at, but I was _really_ good at being seeker cause I’m ‘aerodynamic’ although I think that was just Sirius’ way of calling me scrawny.”

Mr. Evans chuckled as he watched his daughter in the rearview mirror. “I’ve never seen you so excited about sports.”

“Yeah but this is a _magical_ sport dad.”

“Think you can show me when we get home?”

“Sure!” she exclaimed excitedly while gazing at the broom James had lent her. ‘Comet 180’ was emblazoned in blue on the shaft. “I can’t wait to show Tuney! This is the coolest thing _ever_.”

When they got home Lily raced to the living room where her mother and sister were sitting listening to the radio.

“I just had the best day ever,” she announced, brandishing the Comet.

“Why are you holding a broom?” asked her mum. "Are you finally going to clean your room?"

“I’ll show you.” Carefully, Lily mounted and pushed off the carpet with her toes so she wouldn’t hit the ceiling. She hovered in the air, grinning like a fool. Her family watched her fly.

Her mother and father looked awed. Petunia looked nauseous.

“You can fly,” Harriet Evans gasped in wonder.

“You can fly,” Petunia repeated, more in a questioning tone. “How is that possible?”

“I’m a witch,” Lily replied simply from her perch. Landing gently, she held out her hand to Petunia. “You wanna try? I can take you up with me.”

“No!” Petunia shouted unexpectedly, hugging herself. “Stay away from me.” She wrenched free of her sister’s grip and bolted out of the room and upstairs. Her door slamming reverberated through Lily’s spine causing her to wince and shiver.

 

* * *

 

The Prince homestead was an imposing building of impressive size. It was gray stone and had many windows; all of which were closed behind black shutters. The door opened the moment he rang the doorbell to reveal a woman who he assumed to be his mum’s mother. She towered above him and resembled his father eerily, in countenance. His nose was hers.

“You’re late,” she said in a clipped tone. “You were expected a half hour ago.”

“I-“ he started, “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“You are correct, it will not.” Arah Prince turned around and walked with purposeful steps down the hall. After a moment’s pause he followed, passing a strange creature wearing a dirty pillowcase, who closed the door behind him and took his ratty coat.

The drawing room his grandmother led him into was spacious and wallpapered in dark colors. Arah perched on a deep red, winged armchair, appraising him owlishly. “Sit,” she ordered. He complied. “I don’t know what my daughter has told you about your stay here and what it will entail but let me dissuade any misguided impressions she may have given you. Your time here will be work. Your grandfather and I will be educating you on the world you will one day enter. Ours is a powerful family and I assume I can count on you to not make the same mistakes as Eileen.”

She was alluding to his father and while Severus wholeheartedly agreed that his parents’ marriage was the worst mistake of his mother’s life, he couldn’t help but think of Lily.

“No, ma’am.”

“Good,” she stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of him. “Today you will be shown the family trees of the old families. You will memorize them.”

He was led out of the room by the strange creature that had taken his coat, it (he? she?) showed him the way to a musty but immaculate room filled to the brim with books. It was beautiful and his first thought was that he immediately wanted his friend to share it with.

“Elf, take out A History of Magical Britain; volumes one through twelve.” The creature (apparently an elf) did as it was bid. It set them on an ornate desk in the center of the room. “Stay, should Master Snape require anything,” Grandmother ordered before shutting the door behind her.

Severus surveyed the enormous pile with a sigh and then set to work. All the while the elf stood in the corner being unobtrusive as possible.

Eventually the boy grew hungry and when the growling became too much for him to bear while concentrating he cast his eyes about for the elf. “Um,” he began, unsure how to proceed. “What’s your name?”

“I, sir?” asked the elf incredulously. “Master Snape is most kind to ask the name of a lowly elf like Dinkwle. Dinwkle is what this elf is called.”

“Er, Dink-wool?” he sounded out the foreign name, it felt leaden on his tongue. “May I have something to eat?”

“Of course Master Snape.”

_Pop_

He (it?) disappeared.

_Pop_

He reappeared with a tray of tea and biscuits. Severus practically devoured them; he’d never had biscuits so delicious in all his life. Regaining his manners as best he could and with a mouthful of crumbs, he offered Dinkwle one.

The elf’s giant blue eyes widened to twice their regular size, taking over his entire face. He looked like he’d never been shown such kindness in all his life, like he’d never seen the sun. “Master Snape is very kind but Dinkwle couldn’t possibly. Dinkwle is very happy just to serve Master Snape.”

“Go on,” the boy urged, uncomfortable with the praise. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Hesitantly, the elf reached out and took the biscuit offered to him.

The next day Snape noticed burns along the palms of Dinkwle's hands, thick black lines all in parallel across his leathery skin. They looked like the hamburgers Mr. Evans sometimes made on the grill. He didn’t dare ask where they came from but Dinkwle didn’t smile at him after that.

His lessons continued. His days were bookended by lectures from each of his grandparents; about blood purity, the important legacy he carried as heir to the Prince line and about his duty in society. They told him who was who, what was what and what he needed to do to get far in life.

“One needs look only as far as the Slytherin common room to find worthy allies. These will be the future leaders of the wizarding world and you will want them on your side. Your name will gain you access, your decorum will keep it.”

Finally the day came where they confronted him about his dirty little secret.

“Lily Evans is a pretty face and nothing more. She is a mudblood and is thus of no use to you.”

“Does everyone need a use? She’s my friend!”

“Of course everyone needs a use!” his grandmother spat, “Your friends are a reflection of you and you are a reflection of us. You will go nowhere near this girl again, do you hear me?”

“…Yes grandmother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve noticed something hysterical: The James/Sirius fandom is waaayyy bigger than the James/Lily fandom. I have absolutely no problem with this; it is fantastic on too many levels to even contemplate. Slash is power my friends.
> 
> Sidenote: I see a lot of fics where Peter was poor and grew up in a single parent household. I think it’s because people want to rationalize his betrayal as a psychological inevitability because of his circumstances. I don’t want to do that, I don’t want him to be broken. The tragedy of Peter, as I see it, is that he really was their friend, he really loved and cared for them, but when push came to shove he wasn’t strong enough to value their lives over his.
> 
> Roses are red violets are blue, reviews would be lovely and gosh darnit you’re cute ;)  
> -Fiercy


	4. Whipped and Buggin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thirteen years old is deep breaths sucking in damp summer air. Thirteen years old is growing into a body that is older and unfamiliar. Thirteen years old is learning who your friends are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this is the years things start to get interesting Third year will be posted in two parts.

Thirteen years old is deep breaths sucking in damp summer air. Thirteen years old is growing into a body that is older and unfamiliar. Thirteen years old is learning who your friends are.

Thirteen years old is losing the best she’s ever known.

Beanpole, Lily Evans disembarked from the Hogwarts Express at Alice’s side. The second she did she was twisting around and round searching for two people.

Severus had been gone all summer; she hadn’t seen him since June. She’d sent letters, though she had no idea where to address them. Pippin, the barn owl her father had surprised her with, had returned every time without a letter, neither hers nor his.

James, on the other hand, had written lots. Apparently when he said he was going to be nice, he meant _really_ nice.

And apparently nice included invasion of personal space because once she hit the Hogsmeade platform she suddenly found herself enveloped in black robes and in a python-like squeeze. “Lily!”

She laughed and squeezed him back, admittedly more tightly than she ought to have, in a tiny, satisfactory form of vengeance.

“Evans!” Came three more shouts and Sirius, Remus and Peter glommed on to them both, guffawing and making fun of the pair of them.

Behind her, she could hear Alice and Frank chuckling. She laughed harder, gave in to the infectious atmosphere the four boys exuded and hugged them back.

 

* * *

 

“-Welcome home.” Dumbledore said, in closing.

The feast appeared on all the tables, but Lily didn’t notice. She was gesturing wildly for Severus’ attention. He met her eyes for a second then closed his eyes for a bit longer than a standard blink and turned to listen far too intensely to what Narcissa Black, a seventh year, was saying.

With a frown she sat back down and tried to ignore the looks the marauders were shooting her way.

“Cheer up Old Girl,” Sirius ordered while awkwardly patting her on the back. “It’s just Snivellus.”

Out of shock, she laughed, but felt horrible about it. “You guys are terrible.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is _awesome_ ,” Peter cut in.

“I don’t think so.” She decided to change the subject. “What did you guys decide to take this year?”

They were all taking Care of Magical Creatures. Sirius and Peter were taking Muggle studies for fun. James, Remus and Lily had opted for Arithmancy. The boys were taking Divination. She was taking Ancient Runes.

“We will be learning the mystifying arts of unfogging the foggy fogginess of the fog-filled future!” Sirius howled in a ghostly, trance-like manner. “What mysteries shall we solve? What truths shall we uncover?” He pointed suddenly at Remus, “What dangerous adventures await you,” a swift switch to Lily, “Which tragic love story will become your fate?” They all laughed together, stuffing their faces with delicious food and enjoying the company of the nutcases they’d surrounded themselves with.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Sev!” he studiously ignored the redhead trying desperately to get his attention. It was week 3 of term and he hadn’t cracked yet. The result was instantaneous; he’d befriended Avery and Mulciber, as well as a blonde Black, who was Orion’s cousin. Other Slytherins had taken notice, had stopped hushing each other when he walked in on conversations, had offered their partnerships for projects and classwork. Had acknowledged his opinion on matters.

Seemingly, being known as Severus Snape-Prince was the best thing to have every happened to him.

“Sev, come on. What did I do?” she looked at him with those doe eyes, pleading with him. He allowed himself one glance before he turned his attention back to the potions manual he was perusing in preparation for the next class. “Talk to me.”

“I don’t have time for this.” With a snap he closed the book, shoved it in his bag and pushed past her. He waited until he was out of sight to break into a sprint. His heart was thumping erratically and it wasn’t because of the exertion. When he thought he was safe from prying eyes he slumped against a wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. Head in his hands, he tried to still his beating heart, but it would not yield.

Severus Prince wanted many things in this life, and none of them would be made possible if he was still latched onto Lily Evans. He had to let her go for his own sake.

 

* * *

 

“When are they posting it?”

“Any day now I suppose.”

“We should get Lily to go out for the team,” Sirius joked, “She’d make the rest of us look like National!”

“Shut _up_ ,” Lily’s cheeks reddened to clash horribly with her hair. “You don’t have to be a prat about it all the time.”

“Oh Lil, don’t be sensitive,” the boy taunted back.

“Just let it go guys,” James pleaded, the unlucky mediator of Lily and Sirius’ latest clash. “She’s not that bad, she’s fast.”

As Lily turned to thank him, Sirius made a whipping motion behind her back and, in case he hadn’t understood, mouthed the word. James ran a hand through his hair nervously and pretended he didn’t see, which only made his mate roll his eyes and silently plead with the heavens for an end to the horrible pathetic-ness that was the Potter boy’s spine these days.

Lily left them to their free period while she made off for Arithmancy, leaving poor James alone with Sirius and a no doubt impending lecture.

A hand ran through his black locks, messing them up more.

“You have got to be joking,” declared Sirius, “What happened to me having to convince you she didn’t have cooties? _I_ was the one who told you she was cool. Now I’m beginning to regret it. I mean _really_ , you’re a sodding ponce!”

“Mind buggering off now?” James crossed his arms stubbornly and glared at his current least favorite person in the world. “You’re insane.”

“You need a good snog.”

“You offering?”

“Well well well, am I interrupting something?” the pair looked up at one of the Prewett brothers (which; they were unsure). “Allo boys, you’re blocking the board.”

There was a notice board hung up in the common room where announcements for clubs, Hogsmeade trips and lost and found items were posted. They moved aside while the redheaded 7th year pressed a crisp white piece of parchment on top of a notice about the abuse of magical creature testing.

_Gryffindor Quidditch Tryouts_

_Available Positions:_  
-Keeper  
-Beater  
-Seeker

_Be on the pitch in full gear Saturday at 1 o’clock.  
If you do not have a broom, you will be supplied one._

_Try not to embarrass your house._

 

* * *

 

When Adrian beckoned him over after tryouts while the others made their way to the showers, James knew that something either really amazing or terrible was about to happen.

James was an excellent flyer. He had good hands, good instincts and great balance. Those were the lines along which the praise ran. He was pretty much offered any position he wanted.

He glanced over Adrian’s shoulder at Lily, who was watching them curiously from the stands. He hadn’t noticed her at all, she said she wasn’t coming. His heart beat very fast and he scrambled to think hard about what he wanted. He always played chaser in their games, it was a great position and he always had fun. But chasers weren’t whom everyone was paying attention to. At the end of the day it was the guy who caught the snitch who got the glory.

“Seeker.”

“Alright then,” Adrian ruffled his hair, “Off with you then, you smell.” He turned and left the still shellshocked third year on the turf.

James again made eye contact with Lily. Excitement struck him like a fork of lightning to the heart, making it beat at a million kilometers a second. He raised his arms in a triumphant V above his head, giving her two big thumbs up. He hadn’t expected it, but Lily suddenly shot to her feet and jumped up and down like Bertie Bott’s limited edition Bouncing Beans. She looked so excited; excited for him. Holy crap.

Lily was smiling brightly and running down from the stands and out onto the pitch. She stopped two feet from him and just stood there grinning. The copper of her hair glinted in the late afternoon sun and her pride shone in her eyes as clear as day. He suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands, or his face. His tongue was leaden in his mouth and every movement felt awkward. One of his hands shot out towards her, palm flat, the other ran through the mess he called hair, mussing it.

She looked at it for a moment, clearly utterly confused, before eventually extending her own and highfiving him.

“So what did he say?!” she asked excitedly after a moments

In the stands Remus and Peter, who had been sitting with Lily the entire time unnoticed, shook their heads in empathetic shame. “That is the saddest display I’ve ever seen.”

“Did he just…? He’s buggin’. What a moron.” Peter muttered into his hands.

“I can’t wait to tell Sirius,” declared Remus wickedly.

“Clearly no one is as smooth with the ladies as James Potter.”

 

* * *

 

These are the pranks that the marauders pulled in their third year with the help of Lily Evans:

Making the fake ceiling in the great hall rain multicolored paint.

Stealing professor Slughorn’s caramelized pineapple, leaving a graphic and comical ransom note in their place and gorging on it in the astronomy tower.

Using a sticking charm on every classroom on the main floor, gluing all desks and chairs exactly as they were, to the ceiling.

It was harmless, petty fun until they went too far.

 

* * *

 

“Alright there Alice?” Lily asked one morning.

“Fine.” The older girl said curtly, returning to her History of Magic textbook like it was the most interesting thing she’d ever read.

“O…kay. How’ve you been.”

“Oh,” Alice said, “you want to know how I’ve been.” She snapped her book shut with a snap. “Is now a convenient time for you?”

“I- yes? I think. Did I forget something?”

The older girl paused and pressed her fists against her eyes. “Nevermind, nothing. I’m just tired. Mum’s sent some news from home that’s not great and Frank is being a prat I-.”

“Alright there Evans? Prewett?”

“Hello Black,” Alice replied tersely, her round face scrunching up in its attempt not to sneer.

“What’s the lowdown ladies?” from behind him James waved and then mussed his hair.

“Nothing of interest,” the older girl told him in an attempt to end further discussion.

“Great! Lil, we’d better get moving if we want the you-know-what to go down ASAP.”

“Just give me a sec kay?”

“No secs!” (he giggled to himself) “Haul arse.”

Lily looked from Alice to Sirius then back again and gave her a pleading look.

A longsuffering sigh, “If you want to go, go.”

“Thanks!” she gushed and ran after her partner in crime.

“I’ll just be here,” Alice continued to myself, “By myself. No big deal.”


	5. Post-Pre-W.O.M.B.A.T Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James straps some mistletoe to his head and Lily has some issues with growing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so please bear with my characterizations here. Keep in mind that they’re only 13 and they make stupid selfish decisions. You’re supposed to be mad at them; they’re mad at themselves. The important thing to remember is that they grow out of it. Because they grow up. With that in mind, please enjoy the chapter ☺

x

 _“I make bad choices. I’ve got such dodgy taste in men.”_ –Eleanor Mondale

x

It was after Gryffindor won its first game against Slytherin all thanks to James’ spectacular snitch-nabbing skills that something strange started to happen. James began to be noticed.

Girls would giggle as they passed him in the halls. Groups of older boys would highfive him and give him cool nicknames. People started to know him by face and seemed to like him plenty. This was a level of fame his small time pranks had never brought him.

Needless to say it had its advantages.

 

* * *

 

“Lily, can we talk for a sec?” Alice asked outside of Lily’s 2pm charms class (her last of the day). She’d run all the way from a completely different wing so that she wouldn’t miss her.

“I’m so sorry Alice, but I have this thing I need to do for the guys.” She then grabbed Peter and scampered off with him, leaving her friend to her own thoughts.

 

* * *

 

It was a week from Christmas holiday and the students had just received their marks for the latest slew of tests and in-class exams.

“All ‘E’s for Remus again I expect,” mocked Sirius, bumping shoulders with his slouching friend. Remus half-heartedly attempted to hide his report card but Sirius was taller and easily snatched it. “Some Acceptables! _And is that a T?!_ ”

“Knock it off Sirius, you’ve likely seen loads of _Trolls_ with the brains you’ve got.”

“What about you Peter?” asked James.

“Best yet, Mum’ll be pleased, I raised my Potions mark.”

“And you Lil?”

“Well-”

“Why even bother asking? Have you ever gotten anything below an O Old Girl?”

Lily demured and looked down at her report card, “No, I haven’t.”

Lily Evans: First Term, Third Year Pre-W.O.M.B.A.Ts

_Transfiguration_                               **A**

 _Defense Against the Dark Arts_ **A**

 _Potions_         **E**

 _Charms_         **E**

_Care of Magical Creatures_ **A**

_Arithmancy_ **A**

_Ancient Runes_ **P**

 

* * *

 

James Potter had discovered something fantastic. If he nodded his head just so and smiled just right and messed up his hair, pretty girls would giggle and do things for him. Like a bit of homework he didn’t feel like doing or get him the last piece of chocolate cake.

They’d also meet him under mistletoe and it was then that he discovered a whole new level of interesting things girls could do for him.

With these realizations came another; that he really wanted one of those girls to be Lily.

Sweet, goofy Lily; who drove him nuts all of second year, who was taller than him and a consummate rule follower! Huh.

His plan went thusly:

There was a gold circlet that one of the statues on the sixth floor wore. He told Sir Humphrey the Vain that the lovely portrait of Mary la Belle thought he was dashing (despite not speaking English) and that he’d tell her to come up and meet him in the portrait across from his bust if he lent him his crown.

James fulfilled his contract in the broken French that Sirius had relayed to him and looked on as the poor confused woman was unwillingly wooed in a language she did not understand nor care for.

He attached a sprig of mistletoe to his prize and wore it the whole last day of classes.

At lunch, he saw his opportunity.

She was furiously flipping through her Ancient Runes notes and looking rather harried.

“Getting a jump on Christmas homework?” He asked jokingly.

“Yeah,” she replied, not looking up.

The boy frowned down at her and plucked the textbook from her hands. “Hey!” Lily lunged for it and though James tried to keep it out of reach, Lily was taller and had much longer arms. She stole it back and clutched it to her chest, looking aghast.

“Can’t you pay attention when I’m talking to you?!”

“I was busy,” she griped, “You couldn’t wait a second?”

“No!” he huffed. Took a deep breath and tried his best to regain his composure and not think about how in a few seconds he’d be kissing Lily Evans. “Notice anything different about me?” a rakish smile that would have suited Sirius spread across his face.

“What’s on your head?” With that he swept in and kissed her full on the lips.

Lily blinked in shock and was stock still for the space of two heartbeats (which James heard pounding loud and clear in his head) then shoved him away. “James, what the heck-?!”

“I just thought-”

“You just thought what?!” she demanded and furiously swiped at her lips. “I don’t know where those have been today!”

“Hey now, that’s not fair.”

“-And you didn’t even ask me!”

“Lily-”

This time a shroud passed between James and his friend. James was nose to greasy chin with Severus Snape. “Potter, you’re in my way.”

“Can’t you see I’m talking to _my_ friend here?” he emphasized the ‘my’ trying to get a rise out of the Slytherin.

“I see you talking to someone who clearly wants you to leave, but then again that’s probably a normal feeling for you.” Snape made to push him aside but James had quicker reflexes. He grabbed his head in a lock and dragged him down to his level even as Snape clawed at him. “Get off me!”

“No!” The pair fell to the ground at Lily’s feet, thrashing around trying to kick each other, one hanging on, the other trying to unpry the grip he had on his neck. James drew his wand and said something unintelligible. A blue ball of flame burst from his wand, missed Snape and hit a sconce, blackening it.

“Stop it! Both of you stop it!” She grabbed the arm closest to her and yanked with all her might before remembering she was a witch. She drew her wand, “ _Lowensembley.”_ They were ripped apart by unseen forces and cast to opposite sides of the hall. Severus landed with his head in a hufflepuff boy’s lap, James landed in a bowl of pudding on the Gryffindor table.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Demanded Professor McGonagall who only then entered.

James glared at Severus, Severus glared at James. Lily took a deep breath and glaring at the both of them declared, “I was breaking up a fight professor.”

It was decided that they would both get detention when school was back in session and it was made very clear to James that his aunt would be owling his mum as soon as she had a free moment.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later the student body of Hogwarts returned for the second session. All were in high spirits from the break and the snow hadn’t yet melted.

The Marauders reunited on the train but one of their number was distracted and another was yelling.

“She did _what?!”_ demanded Sirius as James continued to stare out the window.

“He did kiss her without asking,” Peter pointed out but quickly retreated with his hands up when Sirius’ glare rounded on him.

“So what? A mate does not snitch. That is rule number one. Who knew she was such a swot?”

“Whatever Sirius,” mumbled James.

“Not _whatever!_ She’s your friend, you have been there for her when Snivellus wouldn’t even talk to her and whom does she side with!? The greasy git who left her to rot.”

“She didn’t side with him.” At least, he didn’t think so. “Don’t worry about it. She’s had time to stew over holidays, everything will be fine.”

 

* * *

 

She was building herself up to her fury. She was intentionally stoking the fire by stewing in her own thoughts because if she didn’t think about it-

If she didn’t think about the way his head had swollen up with Quidditch victories, how he played with girls hearts now that he could. If she didn’t think about how she had been okay with it until he’d leaned in to snatch hers through her lips. If she didn’t consider how he shot a violent hex at Sev… If she didn’t keep those realities in mind then she might forgive him. And she didn’t want to do that.

This wasn’t like in first year when James had hit Sev because he thought he was defending her. There was no going back from this place. She’d seen sides of James that she hadn’t before; a vicious side, a conniving side.

Lily was panicking. She knew she was. She also knew that he wasn’t an awful person, that he had done some bad things in a short period of time. Eventually he’d wear her down and they’d be friends again.

But not yet.

 

* * *

 

It happened on the train.

Lily had spent over an hour looking for him, only to finally find the Marauders seated in the very last compartment.

Sliding back the divider, she very suddenly said, “Can I talk to you?” leaving no room to broker disagreement or ambiguity about which of the boys she was seeking.

Obligingly, James followed her into the corridor and slid the door closed behind him. It was polite, but the boys would hear every word anyway. “Lily! I-”

“No,” she held up a hand, “I am speaking. Where do I even begin? First of all: You do not get to kiss me without my permission. _Supposedly_ I was your friend. And you lump me in with all these random girls you don’t even know? You decided a good idea would be to strap some mistletoe to that thick head of yours and prance around stealing kisses from people.” As she was speaking she knew she sounded ridiculous. Her voice was getting more and more high pitched with every word and she could feel the hysteria coming on, chomping at the heels of her righteous red-hot rage. “Secondly you tried to kill my _best friend_.”

“He hasn’t spoken to you in months-!”

“-That was a dangerous curse. You could have burned his face off.” And she saw no sympathy in his face. She saw no remorse for what he had done, only the desire to talk her out of her anger instead of the repentance she wished he would show.

Perhaps she would have to be angry with him longer than she thought. She turned on her heel, about to leave but then-

“What bothers you more: the moral conundrum of me hurting your precious Sev-ie or that I kissed you? That you spent all last year fancying me and that when I finally bother, you’re just one in a line of girls? Well guess what Lily; you’re not special.”

“You could have killed him,” she repeated, the thought bringing her to tears. “Don’t ever speak to me again you monster!”

She dashed away before he could see the tears fall.

 

* * *

 

If she thought that that was the end of the worst, Lily Evans was in for a rude awakening.

The first day of the worst term of her entire Hogwarts career was capped off by the feast.

She passed the Marauders who were already seated and it seemed, in a united front, had all simultaneously shot her death glares. Perhaps she hadn’t thought this through. They wouldn’t forgive her after that explosion on the train. _Friends aren’t things you can put down for a while when you’re tired of them and pick them back up whenever you feel like it._

There was an empty seat next to Frank and across from Alice, thankfully, and she took it.

The redhead received a very frosty reception.

“Lily,” muttered Frank uncomfortably, not looking at her. Alice didn’t even look up.

“Hey guys, how were your holidays?” asked Lily.

No answer.

“I said ‘How were-‘?”

“We heard you,” said Alice.

“Did I do something?”

Alice gulped in a huge breath of air, which was always a surefire sign that she was about to rail on someone. Lily figure it must just be her lucky day.

“I dunno Lily, _did you_? Why aren’t you sitting with your friends today?”

She seemed to want an answer so tentatively she said, “You’re my friends?” but it sounded like a question.

“Apparently not.”

“Of course you are!” she turned to Frank for help. “What did I do? I can’t fix it if you won’t-“

Appealing to Frank was perhaps not wise. Though generally soft-spoken he was a difficult person from whom to procure good opinion. “One of many problems is that you’re thirteen and that you act it.”

“I have really needed you this year and you have not been there for me at all. Instead you’ve been running around pulling stupid pranks with those dumbass boys who don’t give a crap about anyone but themselves.”

“You don’t even know them.”

“But I do.” Growled Alice, not making eye-contact. “And now that they’re bored of you, or you’ve proved to be too much of a rule follower for their style they drop you like a sack of flubberworm dung and you come running back to us as if you haven’t been a terrible friend to me.” She stood up so fast the bench tipped over, dumping a second year onto the ground. “Excuse us.”

“Alice,” Lily tried to reason as Frank followed his girlfriend farther down the table. “Frank, wait.”

Neither looked back and the lonely year loomed ahead.

_‘What have I done?’_

 

* * *

 

James ran a hand through his hair and thought about what Lily had said.

For one: What was the big deal? So he’d kissed her. He liked her; she was funny, goofy and pretty. And she got on well with his mates. You’re supposed to kiss girls you like. It wasn’t like he could just _tell_ her how he felt. You _never_ tell a girl you like her; it makes you look like an idiot. So he showed her, in a rather dramatic way he thought! Birds really went for that shite in the pictures.

And Snape had started it.

Sirius was right; if she couldn’t appreciate everything he’d done for her then she wasn’t worth his time.

 

* * *

 

There was a feeling of accomplishment that Severus was growing very familiar with. Perhaps accomplishment wasn’t necessarily the right sentiment but he had no other word for it. Every time he saw Lily stalk straight past Potter and his cronies he wanted to cheer. Every melancholy look on the stupid dunce’s face was a victory.

Every meal Lily sat by herself was a picture to be treasured.

It wasn’t that he wanted her to be alone exactly. It just sort of felt nice that _for once_ he was the one with the popularity and close friendships. All their lives Lily had made friends while Sev stayed in the background waiting for her to come back to him, now she was waiting. It also didn’t help that her friends were a bunch of egotistical brats who’d had things handed to them their whole lives. There was satisfaction to be found in that.

Maybe when his status was more secure, when he was more powerful and commanded more respect, they could be friends again. When his grandparents were dead. The world was changing; she’d need someone to protect her. She’d be grateful for it then.

 

* * *

 

Puberty had not been kind to Lily Evans, and over winter hols it had only gotten worse. She was tall (taller than all the other girls in her year and half the boys), lanky and hadn’t grown into her legs so she was clumsy too. She had terrible acne that wouldn’t go away no matter how much she washed her face and the only part of her that hadn’t seemed to grow was her chest. The worst part though, by far, was the hair in places there hadn’t been hair before.

And these days it wasn’t like she could ask Alice what to do.

She’d spent her morning free period in the library trying to find a spell or something to fix the catastrophe that was her calves. She had found nothing and it was distressing to learn that not all her answers could be found in books. She flopped backwards onto her bed and stared at her canopy, contemplating her woe.

“What’s up your butt?” asked Laurie Malkin from the bed over, penetrating her force field of depression. She was pulling up her socks readying herself to be on her way to her next class. “If you keep making faces like that you’re gonna have wrinkles by like 15.” Laurie was prone to exaggerating. “It’s from all that reading you do at night too, you squint. See, I read all about it in Witch Weekly.” Laurie also greatly believed in the dogma of Ursula Venus who weekly wrote ‘this great article about losing weight by eating all your food in liquids’ or ‘brightening your eyes with this easy potion made with 3 ingredients found in every potion kit’. She handed her the magazine, already dog-eared to the article. “We’ve got Charms next, you coming?”

Lily looked from Laurie to the magazine and back. She nodded her head and subtly placed the magazine between the pages of her charm’s textbook. Laurie smiled knowingly and Lily felt like she’d lost some sort of battle.

She sighed and followed her roommate out the door.

In charms, she sat as far back as she dared without arousing concern from Flitwick. It had been back to her usual seat in the front row for the past little while. Her stint of sitting with the marauders in the back of the class was over.

Covertly, she thumbed open the issue of _Witch Weekly_ , behind her textbook. On the other side of the fold from the article Laurie had recommended was a hair be-gone spell. She repeated it a few times in her head then began practicing the wrist motion under the desk.

She raised her hand, “Professor, may I use the loo?”

 

* * *

 

Sitting in a stall in the girls’ washroom Lily was almost hyperventilating. She felt like such a hypocrite. She didn’t wear makeup. She laughed at the girls who giggled about boys and obsessed about their appearance! She knew there were better things with which to occupy one’s time. More _important_ things. And with that thought and a wince she took a deep breath, pulled down her socks, and cast a spell.

“ _Ecfundo_.”

Lily marched back into class standing up straighter and looking ahead instead of at her feet. Everyone turned to look at her and a murmur shivered over the class from front to back as her classmates began to whisper. She looked down at herself then back up, confused. Could they tell? She was holding herself differently she supposed, but that change didn’t warrant raging wildfires of gossip.

She took her seat at the back and noticed that even Flitwick was staring at her. He immediately snapped out of it when she met his gaze. “Right! Well- everyone turn to the next page and read silently. Si-lent-ly!” he stressed.

Lily was distracted from her open book by unsubtle sniggering. Sirius was staring at her, covering his mouth with his hand and practically falling off his chair while trying to contain his guffawing. “What is it Black?” she grit out. That only elicited more laughter from the boy and James, who was sharing the desk. The bespectacled teen laughed even harder in uninhibited glee.

Perhaps he took pity on her, perhaps he just wanted to get back to work, but Remus turned in his seat and gestured at his head, drawing Lily’s attention to her own very smooth scalp.

She screamed at the top of her lungs so loudly and so high pitched that the jar of feathers on Flitwick’s desk shattered. There was no time to grab her bag. She dashed out the door, up the stairs, blubbered out the password for the Fat lady and scampered up to her dormroom. The girls had a mirror in the corner and in it she saw her error in all its glory.

The girl in the mirror looked nothing like her. Her eyes looked smaller due to the lack of framing lashes. Her forehead stretched on forever, her brow bare, her cranium just as hairless. Every follicle was gone. She looked at her arms, and there was nothing there. Her spell had perhaps worked too well.

Lily threw herself onto her bed, drew her curtains and fell asleep crying into her pillow.

 

* * *

 

Morning came and the responsible swot in her wouldn’t let Lily skip classes. She ransacked her trunk trying to find something suitable to wear on her head that would cover up her little… misshap. She found a linen scarf she’d borrowed from Petunia and forgotten to give back and wrapped it around her head like a turban.

“You look ridiculous,” Laurie informed her offhandedly as she applied eyeliner.

“Who cares?” came the dull reply from the defeated young woman. “Who’ve I got to impress?”

Despite her strong words, Lily sat down alone at breakfast, curling her shoulders in on themselves, slouching down as if to make herself as small a target as possible. She knew she looked pitiful but couldn’t seem to make herself sit upright. Her wallowing was interrupted by obnoxious clearing of the throat. The marauders stood before her proffering a glass vial with lightning blue liquid sloshing against the cork.

She glared at them, because even as they stood before her they were trying to stifle their laughter.

“Just take it Evans, it will grow your hair back.” The vial was placed in front of her and she studiously looked anywhere but at it or the boys who’d somehow procured it. When she was sure they were gone she stuffed it in her pocket and ran for the doors of the entrance halls and out onto the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures.

She stopped just short of the spot at the edge of the forest where they always met, hiding behind the gamekeeper’s hut. This time she stood in front of a window, staring at her reflection as she downed the potion in one shot.

Almost immediately auburn sprouts grew out of the bald dome of her head. And her face. She looked down at herself panicking as a forest of tangled copper unfurled from the skin of her arms. “No no no no no no no!” _Potter, I will kill you for this._

“Oi, you there.” Stricken, she searched around for a place to hide. Giant pumpkins littered the yard and illogically, she dove behind one.

“What’re you doing ye silly thing? Oh!” The giant hulk of a man who had led them across the lake in first year and who she’d seen tending to the grounds bent down so that she was at least eye level with his large protruding belly. “Yer a student! Didn’t realize that. Some spell go wrong or were some greasy gits pickin on you?”

“The latter,” she mumbled in embarrassment. On the bright side: no one could see her violent blushing through the veritable mane.

She looked like the ginger sister of Cousin Itt from the Addams Family.

“You look like you could use a cuppa.” Not trusting her voice she hugged herself and nodded jerkily.

The giant gamekeeper led her inside the hut and pulled out a chair for her at the small, handmade wooden table. He picked up the iron kettle and set it in the empty fireplace. The giant spun around looking in every corner, “Now where did I put tha’ thing? Ah!” he picked up the dirty pink umbrella leaning against a pile of wood and pointed it at the grate. Sparks erupted from the tip and a fire roared under the teakettle.

“I’m Hagrid,” he introduced himself in a thick accent, extending his enormous hand.

“Lily,” she replied, her hand could only make it around his first two fingers to shake.

“Well Lily, would ye like to tell me why a sweet thing like you is being picked on?”

She took her head and looked down at her lap, trying not to cry.

“Would you like somethin’ ter eat?”

Some nodding from beneath the curtain of copper.

Hagrid kindly handed her a plate of rock cakes.

Lily took it and maneuvered it under her mustache. One bite nearly broke her teeth but she smiled nonetheless and thanked him profusely.

“Now, why dontcha go ter the hospital wing. Monsieur Pomfrey’ll set ye right.”

Monsieur Pomfrey did set her right.

And with her back to normal, except with perhaps longer hair than before, Monsieur Pomfrey sternly insisted that she tell him who had done this to her.

She promptly, and with more keenness than strictly necessary, launched into the full story.

 

* * *

 

Professor McGonagall pursed her lips and glared over her steepled fingers. “Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew. I am extremely disappointed in all of you. Abusing your fellow student in such a way-! Why, never in my life have I seen such ill-meaning disregard for one’s friends.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lily shrink down in her seat, the way she did when she was embarrassed.

“Oh come on professor! It was harmless.” Sirius protested. “And poetic too. She botched a spell, we were just trying to help her out. It was at least very clever.” His tone, which was the epitome of innocence, did not fool their head of house.

“I don’t care how harmless you think it was, you used magic on a _fellow student.”_

“She took it willingly!”

“She believed she was being offered help. If you cannot trust your housemates, whom _can_ you trust?” her gaze fixed on James at that moment, “I am very disappointed in you. I don’t know what happened between the five of you, but this nonsense stops now. Am I understood?”

“Yes professor,” they chorused as one.

“Detention with Mrs. Norris in the dungeons on Saturday should be sufficient.”

“At night?”

“In the morning.”

“But it’s a Hogsmeade weekend!” Peter protested.

“Then you should have thought of that before you decided to be funny.”

James hated the way Aunt Minnie was looking at him: with such displeasure, frustration and regret. Guilt ate at him from the inside, chewing at him. His heart sunk somewhere around the vicinity of his kidneys, making his spine tingle and his toes curl uncomfortably.

“ _Fine_ ,” he bit out, hiding from the censure. “Can we go?” Aunt Minnie gave him an odd, reprimanding look but he ignored it in favor of his righteous anger.

“You are dismissed.” She allowed.

James shot out of his seat and headed for the door. The rest of the marauders followed with Lily taking up the rear.

“Stop following us, Evans,” Sirius bit out as he wheeled around to face her.

“I’m not following you idiots, I’m going the same way. It’s not _my_ fault.”

“Oh no, nothings ever _your_ fault. You didn’t have to snitch on us,” James practically growled. “It was just a bit of fun.”

“Just a bit of fun?! _Just a bit of fun?!”_ The girl shook with rage. “Listen to _me_ James Potter. Just a bit of fun is a bit of quidditch or exploding snap. TURNING SOMEONE INTO TEEN WOLF IS ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY.”

“BIG DEAL. YOU GREW SOME EXTRA HAIR. YOU LOOK FINE NOW!” he snickered, “Well as fine as _you_ could possibly look.”

“You-!” A shrill shriek was all she could get out. “Don’t ever talk to me again, you big-headed, pig-faced toerag!”

Sirius drew his wand seemingly out of thin air, “ _Silencio_!”

Lily continued to shriek herself silly, but no sound came out. She clutched at her throat and glared viciously at the heir to the Black legacy. _Now,_ she thought to herself, _in deed as well as name._ Tears beaded in the corners of her eyes but she refused to acknowledge their existence.

The boys laughed at her, all but Remus, who looked at her helplessly.

Sirius couldn’t be sure, but he thought she mouthed ‘you’re just like the rest of them’.

He stomped off, leading his friends away.

No one saw, but Remus twitched his wand behind his back, murmuring the counter-spell, allowing Lily to have her voice back.


	6. Marking Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus receives his Hogwarts Letter and the Potters receive an unexpected guest.

X

“They had nothing to say to each other. A five-year age gap between siblings is like a garden that needs constant attention. Even three months apart allows the weeds to grow up between you.”   
― Zadie Smith, _On Beauty_

X

Disembarking the train the summer after her third year had none of the bittersweet tinge it usually did. Lily couldn’t have been more relieved to breathe the polluted London air and see her parents and sister.

“Oi, Evans!” a voice rose above the cacophony of the busy platform. She rounded on Black, ready for whatever insults he was going to throw at her. “How will you be spending your summer? Alone I expect.” He sneered, “Hard to hold onto friends these days isn’t it? Or so I hear. I really wouldn’t know.” He must have found whatever he was looking for in her expression because he nodded and turned on his heel to join his brother. “Have a good summer Old Girl.” He waved as he went.

Her parents were waiting on the other side of the portal. Petunia wore a floral dress, clay beads and a sour expression. George and Harriet beamed at her like she was the greatest thing to walk the earth and it felt so very good.

It was with great relief that the fourteen year old fell into her parents’ arms. She stayed there for longer than necessary, gripping them with such ferocity that they looked at each other and exchanged worried looks. “Lily, what’s the matter?” Harriet asked, laying her hands on her younger daughter’s cheeks and searching her face.

“It’s- …it’s just good to be home Mum.” She turned to her sister and reached out for her. They were of equal height now that she’d hit her growth spurt and she pulled her into her arms. Idly, Lily stared at the mingling blond and orange locks down Tuney’s back. Slowly, Petunia returned the much needed hug. She didn’t let go until Petunias bony hands pried her freckled arms from around her neck.

The car ride was silent, with the occasional attempt from one of her parents to coax from Lily some information about school. “How was Slughorn? Still raving about you to anyone who’ll listen?” “Was charms club more organized this year?” “What’s Alice doing this summer? You could invite her over if you want.”

Her answers were curt and used as few words as necessary. “Yep.” “Kind of. Caradoc Dearborn was president.” “Dunno.”

Petunia looked subtly sideways at her little sister and pursed her lips. She wanted to tell her that she was being a brat, but something about the girl’s slumped shoulders and defeated expression made her keep her comments to herself.

The rest of the evening was somber but uneventful. Lily pushed her chicken around her plate but ate very little. The annual recounting of her greatness and success in her freakish world was cancelled it seemed. While Petunia would normally be thrilled at this, it gnawed at her.

Lily was spoiled, the favorite. She was smart, pretty and perfect. She’d never have to work to be accepted the way Petunia would but that wasn’t necessarily her fault. Petunia didn’t wish _unhappiness_ on her per se; she just wanted her to be less happy than she was. But it didn’t have to be this wide a margin.

“I’m kind of tired Mum, can I go to bed?” Harriet pressed her lips together, bringing out her wrinkles and nodded. Lily pushed away from the table, brought her plate to the sink and scampered out of the room and up the stairs.

“I wonder what the matter is,” whispered Harriet, in case Lily was listening.

“Nothing big I’m sure,” grumbled Petunia, “She’s just doing it for the attention.”

Harriet and George exchanged a look but said nothing more until the meal was through and their eldest too asked to be excused.

 

* * *

 

It was far past time for her to be asleep when Petunia heard a timid knock at her door. “Come in,” she whispered quizzically, wondering which parent was up at this hour.

“Tuney?” a head crowned in red peaked in. “Can I come in?”

Petunia sighed. “Sure Freak, what do you want?” she had been calling her Freak for years but she hadn’t realized until now how cold she sounded when she said it.

She stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed. They were the same height but Lily seemed so small in that moment. “I know- I know you’re mad at me ad I don’t really understand why but I need my sister. Please.” To Petunia’s horror, tears gathered in Lily’s eyes and fell. Her nose was red and she sounded stuffy through her blubbering. “Everyone’s mad at me Tuney, I really screwed up. I was so focused on wanting everyone to like me that in the end no one does. And I did so bad on my exams. And I played mean tricks on people because I thought it was funny and I was so so wrong. I don’t know what to do. I picked the wrong people and now my two best friends in the world won’t speak to me.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to do; Little Lily apparently wasn’t so perfect after all. She thought this would feel better.

“I don’t know what to do. Tell me what to do.”

Petunia thought for a moment. Very hard. “You could apologize.”

“I tried.”

“Try harder.” She patted her sister’s shoulder awkwardly. “And maybe work on who you are for a bit. Seems like you changed yourself quite a bit so this boy would like you.”

“How did you know?”

“It’s always a boy.”

Lily sniffed.

“Just be you for a bit. It might be lonely, but at least you’ll know it’s not a lie when people like you. You can have a sense of humor without being a twat.”

Without her consent, Lily reached over and hugged her around the waist. Petunia stroked her hair and tried to focus on how much she loved her, instead of how much she wished she would go away.

 

* * *

 

The next day Petunia walked into the bathroom to find fine red tresses strewn across the tiles. Lily was leaning over the sink with their mother’s sewing shears snipping away at her hair.

Petunia sighed and rolled her eyes. “Stop that, you’re utterly lopsided and you look like a complete _freak_.”

The younger sister straightened her head and looked at her reflection to find that tilting her head at that angle had made it so that she cut half her head to her shoulders, the other to just below her chin.

“Give it hear,” hissed Petunia before grabbing the scissors from her hand and sitting her sister down on the closed toilet. “Sit up and look straight ahead.”

She worked in silence, evening out the mess the idiot had made of her head.

When she was done she promptly left the room without a word, preferring not to listen to her sister prattle and gush. It was getting harder and harder to remain frustrated with the girl. It was easier when she was out of sight.

Lily looked in the mirror. Her hair, shorter now, no longer had the waves it did when it met the small of her back. It swooped in towards her chin and cheekbones slimming her chubby, freckled cheeks. A fringe covered her forehead and fell just over her eyebrows. The haircut made her look older, more mature.

This year Black wouldn’t be able to pull her hair and Potter couldn’t lob things that would get stuck.

She somehow didn’t look as if she had lost all her hair, only to have it grow back in excess. Or perhaps that was in her head, but it made her feel a little better to see this big change on her outside. It boded well for the changes she hoped the new school year would bring to her inside.

 

* * *

 

Lily’s final marks arrived by post. They were greatly improved from her first term’s performance and that was likely attributed to her utter lack of anything else to do but study. Straight Os across the board. Including Ancient Runes, for which she’d developed a strange affinity. Her parents were very pleased.

Unfortunately, this just so happened to be the same day that Petunia’s results from her A-levels too came in the mail.

George and Harriet waited until Lily had gone to bed to set into Petunia. It wasn’t something a younger sibling should see, and it was Petunia’s business.

“How could this happen?” her father asked, frowning in disappointment. “ _D_ s, Petunia? Didn’t you study?”

“Of course not! She’s too busy running around with her hippie friends wasting her time on things that don’t matter.” Harriet’s voice raised an octave and steadily climbed in volume with every word. She sighed and massaged her temples. She looked very old in her frustration. “You’re so smart Petunia, if only you would apply yourself.”

“Maybe I’m not smart, ever think of that?” Petunia snipped petulantly.

“No,” Harriet’s voice became hard, “You’re lazy. And things are going to change around here if you don’t wizen up. You will retake them and you will pass.”

“You never bother Lily about this kind of thing,” spat Petunia as she slouched in the kitchen chair.

“This isn’t about Lily, it’s about you,” said George, trying to reign in his frustration. He was the quietest of the pair and his parenting style was slightly more lax. He didn’t like raising his voice, but he knew it was for his daughter’s own good that she see that she was in big trouble here. Here she was, her whole future ahead of her and she was screwing it up. ”When are you going to do the responsible thing-?”

“But Lily-!”

“We don’t have to bother Lily because she studies. She tries. When you do the same we won’t bug you either,” reasoned her mother. She immediately realized she’d made a mistake.

“We don’t even know anything about this school; what she learns. They have no use in the _real_ world. At least I _took_ my A levels!”

 

* * *

 

“I got my letter,” Regulus awkwardly announced to Sirius that night in his room.

Sirius nodded and pressed his lips together in a grimace, then returned to tossing his quaffle up and down.

“Mum says I better end up in Slytherin.”

“Wise. Better that than be like your blood traitor brother.”

“Mum says I’ll be better off.”

“ _Mum_ says a lot, any reason you’re being her parrot? Why are you telling me this? You want me to convince you otherwise.”

“ _No,”_ 11-year-old Regulus emphasized with all the conviction a child could possess. “I’m making conversation.”

“Reg,” Sirius finally sat up and looked at him. “You’d be better off anywhere but where Mum and Dad want you to go,” he said honestly. “But I know you, you’ll listen to them. You’re the good child; the golden boy. But know that if by some miracle you decide that you’d rather be your own man and choose I’ll be here for you. Until then bugger off.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning Sirius woke up to the odd feeling of being watched. Blurrily he opened his eyes to the sight of his mother standing at the foot of his bed. She was a wild looking woman. Her hair was black as jet and piled on her head in a tight and intricate bun. Her looks were severe, her cheekbones sharp and hollow underneath. Of all the Black children it was Bellatrix who resembled her most.

“Good morning Mother,” said Sirius casually; bracing himself for what would surely be an awful day.

“ _Crucio_.”

It was not flame that spread through every nerve ending in his body, it was ice and acid. It was the feeling of being consumed from the inside. His muscles screamed, his bones cried for mercy, but his mouth bit down on his cheek until it bled copper down his throat.

“Elf, did Master Sirius tell Regulus that he would be better off a blood traitor?”

“That’s not what I said-“ The semantics would not be debated.

“Are you an elf?” Walburga questioned in a light tone. “Be silent, boy.”

“Yes Mistress,” said Kreacher. “Master Regulus told me himself.”

“You are attempting to influence my son.” The accusation flew with knife-like precision.

“I’m your son too,” Sirius grit. “I want to talk to Regulus.”

“There will be no more of that,” hissed the demoness, “you will never say a word to your bother again.”

“How do you expect that to work exactly? We live in the same bloody house.” Walburga smirked and raised a brow, “Oh. You’re going to send me away.”

“Only for a short while. We’ll send you to someone who can teach you manners. He will make you see the right of it.”

Sirius shook his head.

“Your cousins have all seen him, they have all pledged to serve. You will learn to obey as they did.”

Two men entered his bedroom. They were large. One had dull a squashed face like a bulldog’s, the other looked old, but had no wrinkles. It was as if he had never known to smile or frown; as if he were a vacant slate.

Sirius fell back on his instincts. He drew his wand, _“Petrificus Totalis, Petrificus Totalis, Jerrflexico”_. The two brutes fell to the ground like two mountains brought to their knees. His mother screamed as her hair grew a mind of its own and yanked her every which way. She grasped for him with her long spider-like fingers and gripped his forearm, still screaming threats and bloody murder. Her nails dug into his flesh as she cursed him. “ _Silencio,”_ he hissed with all the hatred he possessed and dashed out the door.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Regulus on the landing, but he did not look back.

Outside he drew his wand and pointed it toward the sky. The Knight Bus instantly zoomed around the corner and screeched to a stop inches from his nose. The doors _skreeee’_ d open and the boy climbed aboard.

 

* * *

 

_Knock knock_

Sirius waited on the doorstep in the late morning sunshine. He could hear noises from within, which meant someone was home. He wasn’t entirely sure what he would do when they came to the door though.

“Sirius,” Jeremiah Potter was the one to answer the door. He was an older man in his early sixties and had gone completely gray. His face had smile lines where his own father’s face was smooth. He had warm hazel eyes and a bushy brow now furrowed in worry. “We weren’t expecting you for another few weeks. Where are your things?”

“Can I-,” the boy’s voice broke. “Can I stay here for a while?”

Taken aback, Mr. Potter nodded and ushered him inside. “I’ll put some tea on.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys feeling about my portrayal of Lily? I realize she’s very immature at this point in the story, but she is 14. She’ll grow out of it.


End file.
